


The Internet Thinks... Part Two

by truelyesoteric



Series: Not Quite Slash [3]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M, not quite slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are events that occurred in seasons late two through four. If you believe that…well um…please send me money</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Internet Thinks... Part Two

**Author's Note:**

> LJ repost circa 2008

“They all think we should be fucking,” Jared said listening to the screams off stage, another convention, more yelling girls.

Jensen looked to where Sandy and Daneel were talking and laughing. He was about ready to loose his shit.

Jared laughed, “Oh I haven’t forgotten about your promise lover boy. Still thinking?”

At that moment they were supposed to go on stage.

“Are you kidding me?” Jensen asked.

Jared winked at him and walked on stage.

Now was that really an answer?

**

“C’mon Jensen five billion people can’t be wrong,” Jared whined.

“We’re not McDonalds Jared,” Jensen said looking at his face in the mirror, “I don’t think Supernatural has five billion fans.”

**

“C’mon Jensen two million people who watched our show last night can’t be wrong,” Jared pointed out.

Jensen glared at him, “This isn’t funny.”

**

Jared showed on set with twizzlers with more of those damned papers.

“This is an awesome story,” Jared said gnawing on his candy, “I’m a time traveler and you’re a witness that I was sent back to protect. We have awesome sex.”

Jensen just got up and ignored him.

**

“The internet thinks I’m good a deep throating,” Jared announced punctuating it with a fist pump.

“Dear sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick,” Jensen said sinking down in the diner booth

Jared looked over the menu, “I guess it has something to do with my giant mouth.”

At that Jared opened his mouth to full capacity.

Jensen was unable to formulate words.

Jared closed his mouth with a snap and went on nonchalantly, “They’re right. I’ve been practicing with produce. I am good.”

Jensen blinked.

It was a few minutes before he could process enough to formulate a response.

“Please never talk to me again,” Jensen said getting up and leaving the diner.

**

Jared knocked on Jensen’s door. Jensen opened it and looked at Jared and a huge basket of international coffees.

“Even though the internet thinks we’re fucking,” Jared said with a sigh, “I will leave you alone.”

Jensen just looked at him, “You are going to stay away from the internet from now on.”

“I promise to only look at pictures of scantily clad women,” Jared said lifting his hand in a scout’s honor motion.

He just looked at Jared as if he was certifiably insane.

“Wanna watch the game in my trailer?” Jared offered.

**

“I don’t care who you fuck,” Chad announced on the other end of the phone line that Jensen had picked up without looking, an error that he would never make again.

Jensen squinted at his computer screen, “Chad?”

“Jared gave me your number,” Chad sighed, “Please have sex with him because I don’t want to hear him read more of that drivel he finds on the internet and ponder if it could be true.”

Jensen buried his head in his hands.

“No really,” Chad said, “I’ve learned about topping, bottoming, power bottoms, and lube. I don’t want to know about lube.”

Jensen whimpered.

“Honestly,” Chad went on, “Fuck him and be terrible. It’s the only way to survive.”

**

“I thought that you had given up on this little internet obsession,” Jensen said.

Jared looked guilty, “They’re just so pretty.”

“Its words on the screen,” Jensen tried.

“The mental image that the internet creates is pretty,” Jared said weakly.

Jensen stared at him, “They’re us Jared.”

Jared dimpled.

**

“Why won’t you just fuck me?” Jared whined.

Jensen let out a long sigh.

“It’s just fucking,” Jared pointed out.

Jensen let out a growl and moved forward. Jared moved back, a little scared of this new Jensen. Jensen got up very close to Jared.

“I’m in love with you,” he said low and gravely, “It wouldn’t be fucking to me.”

Jared was not expecting that answer. He blinked. 

And blinked again.

He couldn’t find the words, which had happened to him three times in his life. In fifth grade with Mary Ellen Christiansen, at twenty in that New York bar with that girl Vanessa and the first time he met Peter O’Toole.

Mary Ellen Christiansen had tried to beat him up, Vanessa had wanted to tie him up and use knives, and Peter O’Toole had been drunk and accused him of stealing his socks.

Silence meant extreme fear.

Jensen let out a sad sigh and shrugged.

He walked off.

**

“Jared won’t stop about the internet wanting us to fuck so I told him wasn’t going to fuck him because I loved him,” Jensen said laying prostrate on the table.

Mike paused, bottle halfway to his lips, “Well that isn’t usually the normal progression.”

“That is kind of a mixed message,” Tom added.

Jensen sighed as if he had been killed and just missed making the martyr list.

“He just won’t stop talking about the internet thinks we’re fucking,” Jensen said, voice muted by the table, “And performing felatio on produce.”

“Kinky,” Tom intoned.

“He does know that the internet is made up of lots of people,” Mike asked, “It doesn’t just think for itself.”

“Jared believes in the internet,” Jensen muttered.

Mike motioned for shots.

And the bottle.

“So what are you going to do?” Mike asked, a few shots later.

Jensen was still laid out on the table. He looked at Mike through a squinted eye, “File for unemployment.”

**

Jared was quiet the next day in make-up.

He kept obviously looking at Jensen through squinted eyes.

Jensen could hear him thinking because declaring love on your previously-by-all-accounts-straight best friend tended to do that to a working relationship.

Jensen would know.

Jared was quiet on set. He was quiet between takes. He was quiet at craft services. 

All the time just looking at Jensen.

It was unnerving.

The ride home was agony and stop and go traffic which made things more than worse. Jensen was counting the seconds.

They arrived at Jensen’s house and Jensen scurried to leave the car, he was about to close the car door.

“Thank you.”

It was so soft that Jensen swore he made it up.

Jensen looked at Jared.

Jared was staring at him with darkly intense eyes.

Jensen tried to think of what Jared could quite possibly be thanking him for.

Jared could read him like always, “I know I’m not the kind of guy that other guys fall in love with. I’m the kind of guy who you fuck in the dark or in dirty bathrooms, or against brick walls and then go home and never think of them again.”

Jensen looked as Jared just spoke, Jared let out a weak smile, “But it was nice to hear. Guys like you don’t look twice at guys like me.”

“Guys like me?” Jensen squeaked.

“Pretty, smart, not homophobic, patient, from Texas,” Jared said leaning in.

Jensen’s heart nearly stopped, because he thought Jared was going to lean in and kiss him and he wanted that.

Instead Jared just slammed the door.

**

“I think this is Freak Out ‘F’, Chris said looking to where Jensen was laying on the coffee table, limbs hanging down, swaying slightly, “You know ‘I’m a whiny bitch and I haven’t freaked out in awhile.”

Steve cocked his head, “I think its Freak Out ‘M’.”

Chris cocked his head, “Joanna is trying to ruin my life?”

“Oh,” Steve said scrunching up his nose, “What is the Freak Out for ‘They’re going to find out I’m a great big fraud any day now.”

“L,” both Jason and Chris said in sync.

They just looked at Jensen for a moment.

“It’s A,” Jason said quietly.

Jensen put a finger to his nose and pointed at Jason, in great Charades tradition.

A was I have absolutely no idea what is going on because this situation is too fucked for words. Which was similar to F, but it was less dramatic and totally valid. ‘A’ was only used in emergency, brake glass only if things are really really pear shapedly fucked up for real.

“Well shit,” Chris drawled.

**

Chad clubbed Jared over the head and dragged him to a strip club.

Jared was bored.

Chad was very happy to be there.

Until Jared spoke, about two hours in.

“Jensen used the whole I love you so I’m not so going to sleep with you,” Jared sighed, looking at the colorful lights on the linoleum.

Chad didn’t look up from the boobs in front of him.

“He’s kind of a douche bag,” Chad agreed.

Chad handed him a wad of bills, “You know what to do big guy.”

Jared sighed and sucked it up. He could do this whole stripper thing. He still liked boobs for christssake.

**

Jensen boarded the plane.

Due to the universe’s embracement of irony and the fact that they shared the same booking agent Jensen’s seat was next to a heavily hung over Jared Padalecki.

Jensen sat down and Jared didn’t look up from his book.

Take off and beverage services came around.

Jared ignored him.

“The internet thinks you’re in love with me,” Jensen said quietly.

Jared paused in turning the page.

“The internet thinks that you like to buy me flowers and candy. The internet thinks that we should move in together. The internet thinks that we’re going to get married,” Jensen rushed on.

Jared tilted his head to look at the seat back. He reached out a finger and traced the pattern there.

“Don’t shut me out Jared,” Jensen whispered.

Jared looked at him and gave him a huge smile that didn’t really reach his eyes.

“You can’t believe in just part of the internet,” Jared said softly, “You have to believe in all it or nothing.”

Jensen blanched, “I don’t believe that you slept with Chad or JDM.”

Jared looked at him, full force, "Jensen we're not talking about the Internet anymore. This is more."

“That is what I want,” Jensen shrugged.

Jared leaned back and suddenly there didn’t seem to be as much weight in the world.

Slowly, Jared’s grin grew minute by minute.

“You believe in the internet,” Jared said with glee.

Jensen closed his eyes and counted to ten.

There really was no living with Jared.

Except Jensen couldn’t live without him.

**

Jensen could barely catch his breath.

Jared was grinning and sweaty.

They lay in their house, in their bed, after their first month anniversary.

“Do you believe in the internet now?” Jared asked, propping himself up on one hand.

Jensen looked at him, eyes crinkling, “Oh yes Jared I totally believe in the Internet.


End file.
